I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
