One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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