My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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