he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
