...so i touched it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize