The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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