We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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