He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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