So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
please don't ironically join a cult
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