i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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