what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
