i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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