whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
