I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
