anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
