I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Say something about gay babies.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
