im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The beers last night were like the tears from god
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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