You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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