There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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