the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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