Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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