I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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