my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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