Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize