he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
