I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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