I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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