In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
