she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
