His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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