It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
