Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
