He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have feelings that need drinking.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
