first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
