I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
