They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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