Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
