there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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