before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
