Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
