Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
