That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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