Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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