Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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