i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
