So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
