get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
