brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.