mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?