So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.