1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again