You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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