Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
