ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
there is glitter all over my balls
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
