The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
