what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
