i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize