while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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