I just threw up on my dentist
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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